Dating with Herpes
Here’s the podcast version.
I’ve had herpes for 16 years now. Genital and oral. I’ve told all my sexual partners(and potential partners) within that time that I have herpes. I would disclose this before we had sex. Some I’ve told and I didn’t hear back from them. Most I’ve told have been ok with it and still continued dating me.
I tell women that I have this because I don’t want them to get herpes, I want to assure them that we will be safe as we can be and if there is an outbreak we won’t be doing anything until it passes. Present day, no previous partner has ever come back to me and said, I have herpes, you gave it to me. A point of pride for me.
When you first get herpes, you think your life is over. No one will ever want to date you again. My experience I have found that to not be the case. I find admitting to a possible partner that you have this skin condition(when the time is right)builds a bond. You are vulnerably admitting that you have what you have with the intent on being safe. Not to have pity on you but to give your potential partner a choice. A choice whether they want to continue dating you, or not. To not tell them and proceed with kissing and having sex would be the worst thing one can do.
Herpes is more an annoyance than something debilitating. But there is no fix and I’m stuck with this forever. But I will tell you, I’ve had more sex since I’ve had herpes than I did before. Life is wonderful and this STD shouldn’t stop anyone from living. When my immune system is weak, a flare up can occur and they do. However, I’m always taking vitamins, supplements. Exercising often which keeps my immune system strong. From the research I’ve done, a diet high in the amino acid lysine helps suppress herpes. I’ve taken some of the prescription drugs recommended by my doctor. But I find what I’m doing on my own works with outbreaks happening less than a handful of times throughout the year.
I found youtuber Laureen HD, a beautiful young lady who talks about life with herpes. She motivated me to come out and discuss this. I will link to her channel and articles regarding what herpes is exactly, foods, supplements, vitamins one can take that can help as well.
If anyone listening wishes to reach out and discuss this further please do.
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